David Golden
1928-2023
1928-2023
Reiki and Caregiving: A Journey of Love, Healing, and Transition
By Kathy Golden, Licensed Reiki Master Teacher
Caregiving is one of the most challenging and rewarding experiences we can go through. When my sister and I became primary caregivers for my father, who was battling rapidly progressing dementia, I had no idea how deeply it would affect me—emotionally, spiritually, and physically. At the same time, it was a journey that allowed us to connect in ways we never had before. Throughout this process, Reiki became a lifeline, not only for me but also for my father. It brought us peace, comfort, and healing during some of our most difficult moments, and it continues to help me in my recovery after his passing.
The Challenges of Caregiving
When I first started caring for my father, he was still relatively independent, despite his dementia. He could manage basic tasks like getting himself to bed or using the bathroom, though he sometimes needed help with things like buttoning clothes or remembering what to wear for different occasions. As his condition progressed, I noticed his frustrations growing, particularly around losing the independence he had always valued. It was hard for both of us—he was frustrated with me for stepping in, and I was navigating the delicate balance between protecting his safety and honoring his dignity.
One of the toughest parts of caregiving was the emotional and physical exhaustion. My life became entirely dependent on his needs, and there were days when I felt like I had nothing left to give. During these times, Reiki became my grounding force. Holy Fire Meditation, self-Reiki, and activating Reiki during daily walks gave me moments of peace and renewal, allowing me to stay calm even when everything around me was in flux.
Navigating the Emotional Roller Coaster
Reiki didn’t just help me with the physical demands of caregiving; it also helped me process the emotional toll. My father, having lost his “edit button” due to dementia, sometimes made unfiltered comments that stung. In those moments, I would turn to Reiki to calm my nerves and remind myself to respond with love, rather than react from a place of hurt. Reiki became a way for me to show up fully for him, even on the days when it was hard.
As his dementia progressed, I found that Reiki wasn’t just supporting me—it was also helping him. Short chair Reiki sessions, just 5-10 minutes long, would calm his frustrations and ease his confusion. Watching him relax during these moments was a gift, and it reminded me why I was doing this: to honor his greatest wish, which was to stay at home. Reiki gave us both the strength to keep going and offered moments of peace in an otherwise tumultuous time.
Finding Connection Through Reiki
One of the most unexpected gifts of this journey was how Reiki deepened my relationship with my father. He was a devout Catholic, and although I had been raised in the faith, I hadn’t practiced for years. We often had long talks about his beliefs, and I shared with him how my spiritual practice of Reiki allowed me to feel connected to God, or the divine. I explained that Reiki, for me, was a form of prayer—I set the intention for healing and sometimes witnessed what felt like miracles. I even shared stories of moments where I could feel the hands of angels working with me during sessions.
One night, during a particularly lucid moment, my father said something that I will never forget: “You know, I envy you in a way. I was taught and told what to believe, and you were able to find your own way and are experiencing a real relationship with God. It seems more personal than the relationship I have.” That conversation was a turning point for me. Reiki had become more than just a tool for healing—it was a bridge between us, allowing us to connect spiritually in ways we hadn’t before.
Supporting His Transition
As my father approached the end of his life, Reiki helped both of us prepare for his transition. Although he was deeply Catholic, he struggled with the concept of life after death—his logical, accounting mind couldn’t make sense of it. We began having daily conversations about the formless realm, the nature of the soul, and consciousness. At first, he dismissed the idea, but over time, he warmed up to the possibility that there might be something more. Eventually, he said, “You know, when I get there, I’d really like to see my mother.”
These conversations shifted the energy from fear to anticipation. He started thinking about who he might reunite with, even joking with me about dancing the polka with my mother, who had passed years earlier. Reiki helped us navigate these profound discussions with a sense of peace and openness.
In the final moments of his life, Reiki played a key role. A few weeks prior, I had a vision while teaching a Master Class where I saw myself telling my father, “When it’s time for you to go, I’ll hold your hand really tight over here, and I won’t let go until someone on the other side takes your hand—that way, we’ll both know you made it okay.” When I shared this with him, he got teary-eyed and said, “Honey, I think that’s a really great idea.”
And that’s exactly what happened. In his last moments, I held his hand and reminded him of what I had said. My siblings and I stayed by his side, holding his hands until his transition was complete. Reiki was there with us, providing peace and comfort during one of life’s most difficult moments.
Recovering After Caregiving
Reiki continued to support me long after my father passed. After years of caregiving, I found myself emotionally and physically drained, but Reiki helped me process those feelings. It allowed me to release the accumulated grief, exhaustion, and stress without being overwhelmed. Through Reiki, I began to reconnect with myself, after spending so long focused on someone else’s needs.
It also gave me peace knowing that we had fulfilled our father’s greatest wish—to remain at home and to transition surrounded by his family. Reiki helped me realize that our bond wasn’t limited to the physical world. There was something deeper, more eternal about our connection, and that realization brought me profound closure.
Each Reiki session was a moment of healing and renewal, helping me clear the layers of emotional strain I had carried. Over time, Reiki restored my energy and gave me the strength to move forward. It reminded me that while the caregiving chapter of my life had ended, the love and the lessons from that time would continue to shape me in beautiful ways.
Final Thoughts
Caregiving is a complex journey, full of challenges and moments of profound connection. For me, Reiki was the thread that wove together the physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of caregiving. It helped me stay grounded, supported my father’s transition, and ultimately, provided a path to healing after his passing. Reiki’s ability to create space for love, peace, and renewal is something I will forever be grateful for.
By Kathy Golden, Licensed Reiki Master Teacher
Caregiving is one of the most challenging and rewarding experiences we can go through. When my sister and I became primary caregivers for my father, who was battling rapidly progressing dementia, I had no idea how deeply it would affect me—emotionally, spiritually, and physically. At the same time, it was a journey that allowed us to connect in ways we never had before. Throughout this process, Reiki became a lifeline, not only for me but also for my father. It brought us peace, comfort, and healing during some of our most difficult moments, and it continues to help me in my recovery after his passing.
The Challenges of Caregiving
When I first started caring for my father, he was still relatively independent, despite his dementia. He could manage basic tasks like getting himself to bed or using the bathroom, though he sometimes needed help with things like buttoning clothes or remembering what to wear for different occasions. As his condition progressed, I noticed his frustrations growing, particularly around losing the independence he had always valued. It was hard for both of us—he was frustrated with me for stepping in, and I was navigating the delicate balance between protecting his safety and honoring his dignity.
One of the toughest parts of caregiving was the emotional and physical exhaustion. My life became entirely dependent on his needs, and there were days when I felt like I had nothing left to give. During these times, Reiki became my grounding force. Holy Fire Meditation, self-Reiki, and activating Reiki during daily walks gave me moments of peace and renewal, allowing me to stay calm even when everything around me was in flux.
Navigating the Emotional Roller Coaster
Reiki didn’t just help me with the physical demands of caregiving; it also helped me process the emotional toll. My father, having lost his “edit button” due to dementia, sometimes made unfiltered comments that stung. In those moments, I would turn to Reiki to calm my nerves and remind myself to respond with love, rather than react from a place of hurt. Reiki became a way for me to show up fully for him, even on the days when it was hard.
As his dementia progressed, I found that Reiki wasn’t just supporting me—it was also helping him. Short chair Reiki sessions, just 5-10 minutes long, would calm his frustrations and ease his confusion. Watching him relax during these moments was a gift, and it reminded me why I was doing this: to honor his greatest wish, which was to stay at home. Reiki gave us both the strength to keep going and offered moments of peace in an otherwise tumultuous time.
Finding Connection Through Reiki
One of the most unexpected gifts of this journey was how Reiki deepened my relationship with my father. He was a devout Catholic, and although I had been raised in the faith, I hadn’t practiced for years. We often had long talks about his beliefs, and I shared with him how my spiritual practice of Reiki allowed me to feel connected to God, or the divine. I explained that Reiki, for me, was a form of prayer—I set the intention for healing and sometimes witnessed what felt like miracles. I even shared stories of moments where I could feel the hands of angels working with me during sessions.
One night, during a particularly lucid moment, my father said something that I will never forget: “You know, I envy you in a way. I was taught and told what to believe, and you were able to find your own way and are experiencing a real relationship with God. It seems more personal than the relationship I have.” That conversation was a turning point for me. Reiki had become more than just a tool for healing—it was a bridge between us, allowing us to connect spiritually in ways we hadn’t before.
Supporting His Transition
As my father approached the end of his life, Reiki helped both of us prepare for his transition. Although he was deeply Catholic, he struggled with the concept of life after death—his logical, accounting mind couldn’t make sense of it. We began having daily conversations about the formless realm, the nature of the soul, and consciousness. At first, he dismissed the idea, but over time, he warmed up to the possibility that there might be something more. Eventually, he said, “You know, when I get there, I’d really like to see my mother.”
These conversations shifted the energy from fear to anticipation. He started thinking about who he might reunite with, even joking with me about dancing the polka with my mother, who had passed years earlier. Reiki helped us navigate these profound discussions with a sense of peace and openness.
In the final moments of his life, Reiki played a key role. A few weeks prior, I had a vision while teaching a Master Class where I saw myself telling my father, “When it’s time for you to go, I’ll hold your hand really tight over here, and I won’t let go until someone on the other side takes your hand—that way, we’ll both know you made it okay.” When I shared this with him, he got teary-eyed and said, “Honey, I think that’s a really great idea.”
And that’s exactly what happened. In his last moments, I held his hand and reminded him of what I had said. My siblings and I stayed by his side, holding his hands until his transition was complete. Reiki was there with us, providing peace and comfort during one of life’s most difficult moments.
Recovering After Caregiving
Reiki continued to support me long after my father passed. After years of caregiving, I found myself emotionally and physically drained, but Reiki helped me process those feelings. It allowed me to release the accumulated grief, exhaustion, and stress without being overwhelmed. Through Reiki, I began to reconnect with myself, after spending so long focused on someone else’s needs.
It also gave me peace knowing that we had fulfilled our father’s greatest wish—to remain at home and to transition surrounded by his family. Reiki helped me realize that our bond wasn’t limited to the physical world. There was something deeper, more eternal about our connection, and that realization brought me profound closure.
Each Reiki session was a moment of healing and renewal, helping me clear the layers of emotional strain I had carried. Over time, Reiki restored my energy and gave me the strength to move forward. It reminded me that while the caregiving chapter of my life had ended, the love and the lessons from that time would continue to shape me in beautiful ways.
Final Thoughts
Caregiving is a complex journey, full of challenges and moments of profound connection. For me, Reiki was the thread that wove together the physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of caregiving. It helped me stay grounded, supported my father’s transition, and ultimately, provided a path to healing after his passing. Reiki’s ability to create space for love, peace, and renewal is something I will forever be grateful for.